Friday, November 11, 2005

KAFANA REPUBLIC

Kafana (sr.кафана) is an holy institution in Serbia. If you would ask me how to present you original Serbia, I would just take you to one Kafana where you could see Serbia in act. Some Kafanas even have their own laws and constitutions. For example, MY Kafana (the one I like to go the most) is like my own home. Still weven in your home there are same laws that you need to obbaid. So I will present you some of the rooles you must not forget in case you deacide to go to Kafana. (once again Kafana is writen with K cause it is institution)


*********************************
preparation rooles for going to Kafana

*1*

To Kafana you never MUST go alone. Kafana is an social institution where you need to present your own friends, meet other people, and present your self ( by presenting your friends) to the person you are meeting (as well with it`s friends). That is the best way to meet the REAL person the way it is, the way it acts among it`s best friends.

*2*

To Kafana you never go with your empy pockets. If you know that your party does not have enough money in it`s Kafana budget (even though they will say: "Come on...we`ll managge somehow")....don`t go. The best excuse (and the one everyeone will understand is_ " I just can`t!" (that is the universal antiKafana language)


Entering the Kafana- rooles

*1*

By entering the Kafana..you need to take good care what song is on. (if it`s the song you like the most, you enter Kafana with your hands in the air that meens...I REALLY LOVE YOU ALL")

*2*

You allways look for the table at the best position ( near by weithers and orchestra). The best of all is if you are able to sit in the corner where from you can see the doors...and wave any time someone you know enters....(and someone you don`t wonna see...you just get down under the table)

*3*

You need to be ready to understand the rools of drinkin in Kafana. Even though kafana has the Coffee thing in it`s name...in most of `em...you will just not find Coffee...(it`s underground name for Alcohol)

*4*

You need to be ready to stand huge dose of Alcohol in your blood if you are going to Kafana. Drink slowly...not like beast....cause you will not be able to fulfill "after Kafana laws" so take care.


After Kafana laws

*1*

Do not drive your car after getting out of Kafana. The enemy (in further text Police) is everywhere and he`s just waiting to get you when you are most woundable.
So...the best option is just to forget that you came by your car, sit in taxy and get home. (You will think tomorrow with your headache where your car is and what Kafana you went to...if you are not able to remember the exact postition of your car, call friends from your Kafana party...someone will be able to remember).

*2*

Since the enemy is everywhere...you must sing on your way home (but never go in the middle of Street, because enemy will get you) Be discreet...and do not draw too much atention to your self.

*3*

Entering your home...if you feel sick...do not go to bed. You need toi puke, because that`s the only way you have good night with out feeling that you are falling down to the middle of Earth! If you can`t puke.....there are some professional ,well trained ways and procedures you need to know. I will not tell you about it....find your own way.



So...there are the basic rooles....


Dedicated to someone.


S.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

you`re just crazy....but good and smart crazy!!!!

YOU ARE OUR IDOL!!!!!


(you know who we are)

hahahahahhahahahahha

Anonymous said...

Ευχαριστω Αρχοντα των Βαλκανιων, του Βελιγραδιου και Πασων των Καφανων για την αφιερωση και την ενημερωση σ αυτο το Serbian Kafana's Guide.
Χαχαχαχαχαχαχα.

Миљан said...

the holy thruth and nothing else but the truth

Миљан said...

dedicated to WHO? kafana rules! let's go and have a beer? ;)

Srdjan said...

Deticated to my friend Yiannis :) :) :) You Miljan Ljiljan...know the kafana damn to good..so shut the f. up.

p.s.

No beer in kafana...remember....just wine (kilo-kilo)

mirko said...

to care..... bas tako!!!!

"Kafana je moja sudbina"

Dragan said...

AWSOME WEB PAGE SRDJAN !

Regards,

Dragan

Anonymous said...

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I found your blog via google by accident and have to admit that youve a really interesting blog :-)
Just saved your feed in my reader, have a nice day :)

Anonymous said...

Ma DAJ MI DA PIJEM!!!! I DAJTE MI TOMU !!!!

Anonymous said...

Ugusi Srle! Ugusi...

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