Dunno why but I have this stupid need to write something. Since a long time has passed how I wrote some of my thoughts to my blog, this is a perfect situation to to that. Lots of things changed. I finally realised that there is no life that anyone else can provide to me, just to support me. In past few months I have been rejecting all kind of support, dunno, maybe thinking how I can solve everything on my own. I have been sorounded with the people that think that way. It is just absolute bullshit. There is no life with out comunition.There is no way you can exist alone, with no need for other. Damn it, even stupid bacteria needs to have the host, and what about us people.
I have just finished reading “about the boy” and I absolutely disagree with the theory that “every man is an island” Acctualy, I partualy agree with that, and have my own theory of the ocean that is in between us. Allthough we are separated and unique islands, there is that one thing that connects us all. The ocean. The ocean of emotions, friendship, love, hate. All it`s colours present one of the above mentioned things. It is good, I think to have any of those feelings, even hate. The worts thing that can acctualy happen to you is not to have feelings for your self, not to mention other people. I have met few people that are like that, and I must admit that it had huge infuence on me. I was trying to change them, to make them live in community, to understand the need for other, but there was no way to do so. I realised that there is no way I can change anyone. You can help and point someone to the change, give him support, but what if the effect is contraproductive. What if I changed? What if I have become like them. That`s a right question at the right time at the right momment. People do never change. They are what they are. Bishop Nikolai Velimirovic in one of his books wrote: “ I am like a book with the seven seals. You can unlock one, you can unlock two, even three..but it is most likely that you`ll never unlock all seven seals. Even if you do so, you will not be able to read me, because I have been writen in my own, specific language and in my own specific letters. So what ever you try to do, even to know all the languages and letters of the world, you will never be able to read me, unless I want to read my self to you”.